I been waking up feeling like crap.
It's been so many weeks since we stopped contacting each other and that didn't help.
Whatever it was supposed to be helping, I have no idea.
This morning was especially bad...
I couldn't sleep well, and I woke up wishing I could've disappear.
I cannot see the future, nor do I look forward to it.
There is nothing to look forward to.
What I desire, I do not know how to attain.
Feeling like giving up but not wanting to let go.
That aching feeling is back.
I laid in bed, awake, not wanting to get up.
Imagining ways to disappear.
I don't wish for death.
I wish for non-existence.
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