Dream of yan.

I just had a dream with yan inside.

We were in the library. She had came back to the library to look for some info and i bumped into her. So we sat down to chat. I was telling her something funny, about 1 time YH went to ask the librarian whether he can take a book and bring it home; with a funny tone and weird smiling expression.

And she rolled back and laughed out happily. I remembered the way she laughed then. Happily, helplessly, and as if without a care. Seeing it made you happy.

I stifled a laugh myself and covered it up quickly by cupping one hand over my mouth. Then she suddenly realized where she was and quickly hushed herself. Everything was very much the way she'd be. =)

I looked to the corner and saw that the principle had gotten up and headed for the stairs. Either she hadn't mind the accidental eruption of sound, or had choose to let it pass as something minor and forgivable. My sight of her disappeared as she reached the stairs and my view of her blocked by the back of the concreted stairs.

It seems someone else had chosen not to ignore the laughters. A librarian/teacher got up from behind the counter and made her way to us. I looked down and pretend to concentrate on something, waiting for her to pass us. But she stopped in front of me and squatted down.

"Boy, you can't control your laughter." she looked at my eyes "Do you know why?"
I raised my head a little, along with my eyes and returned her look, waiting for her to go on.
"It's because you still have these lines with your eyes" she was referring to these vein-like tiny capillaries that connect to the pupil.
"I already removed mine." she was referring to the reason why she was able to control her laughter.

Still in the library, I slowly realized that I was also still lying in bed. My half-awaken state had crossed the tipping point favoring the waking world. I was good to be in the library, it felt free of problems and happy to be with yan, and remember the way she was. At the same time, I was the me in the real world, with a troubled existence. It was a dream.... I thought, as I rolled to my back, still eyes-closed. Aware of reality now, yet still wanting to cradle whatever remaining precious memory of the dream in my mind.

I was disappointed that it was a dream. I was probably missing her company and friendship.

I got up and immediately on my com to record it... before it faded from my conscious mind. Before this feeling slips away.

That moment of waking/dreaming liminal state, cradled between reality and the dream, allowed me to remember the me I was and the me I am now. An opportunity to compare my past and present self. I was a happier self.