Everything reminds me of you..

Assailed by memories everyday.
Surrounded by so many things that reminds me of you.
The cheese in my fridge.
The time of 2:30pm at which you log on.
The time of 6am at which you go to sleep.
Time, in general, which makes me wonder what you are doing at that moment...

The tweeting of birds.
Birds.
My glowing stars.
Rough ceiling texture.
Coffee with milk.
Friendship bands.
Strangers with dark long hair.
Blue cars.
Pancake mix,
and things I have sent from the grocery stores.
And things I wanted to send and haven't, and will probably never.

Clear blue sky.
Winter clothing.
Cute earrings.
Purple.
Water bottles.
Tattoos on strangers.
Interesting I took photos of and wanted to show you but didn't,
because it doesn't matter and it hurts.
The photocopy shop and the post office.

These are just the tip.
They make me sad.
And every time it does, I try to focus on my breathing and nothing else.
Taking 1 deep breath after another, counting them as I walk.
It now hurts more than I can keep staying close to you.

It's not your fault that I'm feeling this way.
But I still feel angry anyway.
Angry and frustrated, partly with myself.
Partly with you and the world and how it works.

Everyday is full of traps,
Waiting to spring and ensnare me into their mental agony.